Death

Death is no longer something i fear.

I fear the apprehension, IE; knowing you are going to die 

But the event itself does not scare me.

We live in a truly beautiful world and there is so much i want to see, do & explore, but I just dont see any hope in the future.

My plan is in motion yet I still feel nothing, no fear, no guilt, no anger just numbness.

I called lifeline last night who managed to distract me from self harming 

And I will try one more time, if I get refered to a&e I will see what happens, If I get failed once more im going to do it.

Leaving my children breaks my heart but they deserve a stable family, not someone who is so depressed they can barely take care of themselves.

So it looks like this may not be a 365 day blog challenge afterall I guess it depends on the outcome of the services.

SIDE NOTE i do not plan on doing anything tonight for now I am safe.

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Author: YoursImmortally

mental health warrior, architecht of my own destruction, earthling

1 thought on “Death”

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